new found confidence

Confidence is something I have struggled with endlessly. Sounds rather silly seen as I have danced and performed on stage for many years of my life and I’m always the first to dance at a party, and I don’t mind cracking a terribly unfunny joke (I tend to laugh at myself A LOT). I mean digging deeper and focusing on my day to day life and going inside my mind, behind the bold smile I hold on my face.

I’ve always been a happy character which I use to help people around me. I’ll be the friend that helps cheer them up, holds there hand or lets them cry. I’m not afraid to hear stories of people’s past, and I certainly don’t hold it against them. People haven’t always been there for me, but I can put that down to myself, I’m stubborn and rarely reach out for help.This is because I know what it’s like to change and go through difficult things. It really puts life into a new perspective and opens your eyes to things you could never even imagine. Keeping in mind, every individual person is different, lives a different life and deals with things in their own unique way.

Starting with a positive mind. Erasing the negativity and putting myself and only myself first. There’s only one thing that’s been in my way – self doubt. And a rather large amount of it. Only in recent months have I realised that only I can change it. I am this way due to my lack of self-belief which is all in my mind and I’ve figured out a few ways which have helped me improve my mentality and become happier and more confident. A lot of people struggle with a lack of confidence and it can trigger things such as depression and anxiety.

Ways To Erase Self Doubt:

  • Become more educated with food. Eat better, and know that a treat is a treat – By this I don’t mean eat to a strict diet, but to know that different foods can benefit you for certain things and that can play a huge part with your health, both mentally and physically. I love snacking, and binge eating and filling myself up on loads and loads of ‘bad’ food! But, that usually means I am sat feeling completely guilty and therefore makes me feel annoyed or upset with myself. So, I have decided to stop snacking so much, and treat myself when I deserve it, so I feel like I have earned it.
  • Organise my life better – This probably seems irrelevant but it makes up a lot of my stress which can really bring my whole self down! I find that writing down all the things on my to – do list helps me to utilise my time more, and feel like I have accomplished things successfully rather than overwhelming myself too much. It leaves me with space in my timetable for things I enjoy, and make me feel happier which allows my mind to run at a suitable speed for me. I also really love stationery so buying new folders and notepads made me happy and more motivated!
  • Having a hobby – (Seems obvious, but only recently have I realised how important it is). Something to keep me busy, and help me to appreciate time more. I usually spend my ‘spare’ time scrolling through social media and getting myself down with the idea of what I should be looking like, what I should be doing and what I should be eating. Finally, I realised – it’s all crap.  I started thinking about what I want to do, then I started this blog. I write a blog post when I feel motivated and have the time to do it. I also watch a lot of YouTube videos which takes my mind off any current stress in my life. Being able to do something you enjoy, whether that is exercise or watching videos, it allows you to refresh your mind and improve your mentality because you are keeping happy!
  • Wear what the hell I want –  I worried (past tense)  way too much about what I was wearing compared to other people. When I was younger (between 9 – 13) I used to have my own style and put together an outfit of my choice and feel so confident and happy with myself – which any person, especially a kid that age should feel. I would totally rock it, and feel inspired by so many things. People would compliment me and be amazed at how happy I was and that Then as I went through secondary school, I began to hide away my style and follow what everyone around me was wearing (not the exact same, but similar style) and it just became a routine, but I never felt inspired. In the past few months, I have started to buy clothes that I love, that I think are cool, and that suit ME. I gather inspiration from Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest and just by seeing people walking around, especially in the City where there is such diverse fashion. This has made me so much happier because I am myself again, and the people around me are supportive and I just feel so much better looking at my wardrobe and feeling inspired every day!
  • Talk to people that want the best for me – There are A LOT of people in this world, and everyone that you know will have different intentions with you. As I’ve got  older, I have met people who support me, and others that do the opposite. Those people who make me feel in any way negative, I don’t spend time with or associate myself with any more. It’s not about popularity, it is about having good people surround you. I wish I realised and understood this sooner in life. I am lucky enough to have such loving people in my life (even if they do live on the other side of the world to me) who keep me going every day and have my back 100% of the way! This is an extremely important factor in remaining happy and erasing self doubt!
I hope that if you are facing a tough time, or are lacking self love that you find something that will make you happy, or improve your negativity. Your quality of life will be better when you’re positive and the people around you will feel it too. Stay happy, stay strong and know that it is okay to feel down and okay to stress. But it isn’t okay to beat yourself up about anything and get yourself down. You are beautiful inside and out and that should shine through you, always.
Love, Abby x

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